To: Marketing From: Og Subject: New Invention I'm very excited to announce a new invention of mine. I call it "The Wheel," and I think it could really revolutionize transportation. From outward appearances the Wheel may seem very simple, yet I think you'll find that it has the potential to be used in countless ways. As you can probably tell, I'm rather proud of this, and can't wait to hear your reaction. I'm dropping a Wheel by your cave later today so you can see for yourself. ------------------------------------------ To: Og From: Marketing Subject: Re: new invention This is interesting, and certainly very symmetrical. But what does it do? The one you left us just lies there, like a round coffee table with a hole in the center. Is it supposed to have this hole in the center, or is this "wheel" (as you call it) broken? ------------------------------------------ To: Marketing From: Og Subject: Clarification No it's not broken - it's just lying on its side! Set it up on its edge, put a strong stick in the hole in its center, and then you can roll it back and forth in a way that is much easier than pushing or dragging it. If you have questions, let me know, and I'll come by your cave to demonstrate it. ------------------------------------------ To: Og From: Marketing Subject: WOW!!! This is incredible! We've never seen anything like this! We were able to roll it up and down a hill, and have been experimenting with supporting other objects on the stick in the center of the "wheel," which we've found makes it much easier to move heavy objects. The applications for this device seem endless - Og, you're a genius! Kudos! ------------------------------------------ To: Marketing From: Og Subject: Aw, shucks Thanks! I'm pretty proud of it, if I say so myself. I love the fact that it's so simple, and yet so versatile. And with your help, we can spread the word about my invention. Maybe someday many people will enjoy the use of my Wheel - that would make me so happy! ------------------------------------------ To: Og From: Marketing Subject: Any other features? Yes, the wheel is nice. Kudos again. But it does seem kind of basic, doesn't it? I mean, yes, it rolls, but does it do anything else? ------------------------------------------ To: Marketing From: Og Subject: Confused I'm not sure what you mean. It rolls, as you've seen. And it can be used to support and move heavy objects quickly and easily - we never had anything that could do that before. I really feel this is a significant achievement, one that represents a major step forward for civilization. I mean, what else could you want it to do? ------------------------------------------ To: Og From: Marketing Subject: a minor suggestion Whoa there, sport - nobody's knocking your little "wheel" thing. It's terrific, like we said. But a "major step forward for civilization?" Aren't you being just a tad self-congratulatory? Look, nobody's denying that the wheel is a neat little gadget, but let's be honest: It's not fire. And although the rivalry between you and Grak is well-documented, I think that even you would have to admit that Grak changed everything when he brought us the ability to make fire. Admittedly, we did consider it rather presumptuous that he wanted to call it "Grak-Grak" instead of "fire," but let's face it, fire is a biggie. And if Grak were still alive I think he'd agree. So, we were thinking: if you could come up with something that incorporates the wheel AND fire, now that would be something! Oh, and maybe think about throwing in a fireproof loincloth, so that nobody suffers a fate similar to Grak's when they experiment with the use of fire. ------------------------------------------ To: Marketing From: Og Subject: REALLY confused A Wheel AND fire? I guess I don't see the connection. I mean, the Wheel rolls. Rolling is huge - we never had anything that rolls before. Also, I just know that if I did try to incorporate fire with my Wheel, Grak's family would come after me. And I really don't want that to happen - if you've ever seen Grak's family, you'll know what I mean. I really wish you would try to appreciate the beauty and simplicity of what the Wheel is, instead of wanting it to be something else. ------------------------------------------ To: Og From: Marketing Subject: Lowering our sights Okay, Ogs, you do have a point. Maybe we were asking for the stars when we made the whole "fire" suggestion. And no, none of us would relish the idea of a run-in with Grak's family. Especially his brother Grook; he strikes us as a rather daunting chap, particularly since that whole saber-tooth tiger incident. But back to your "wheel" - it just seems like it could use a little more... I don't know... pizzazz. Remember, this is an amazing age we're living in, and the consumer's attention is easily distracted. You've got a lot of recent innovations to compete with: there's the aforementioned fire; there's cooking; those wacky cave paintings that are cropping up everywhere; and now we've even heard that some of our gatherers are thinking of trying to grow the berries that they usually go out to gather, right here in our village. Pretty radical, but who knows? It might catch on. With that in mind, maybe you can spruce up this "wheel" thing. What do you think? ------------------------------------------ To: Marketing From: Og Subject: the spruced-up Wheel Okay guys, I gave it a shot. I took some berries and rubbed them all over my Wheel, so now it's a pretty shade of red. How's that? ------------------------------------------ To: Og From: Marketing Subject: Colors! Og baby - now you're talking! Looks great! Oh, but one thing: some of the members of the demographic we're targeting have said that they don't like red. Do you have any other colors? ------------------------------------------ To: Marketing From: Og Subject: new challenges Well, I guess I could do some other colors. This means I'm going to have to collect and maintain a stockpile of pigments. And I'll have to make more Wheels, so I can have some of each color available. Which means I might need a bigger cave... ------------------------------------------ To: Og From: Marketing Subject: Zzzzzzzzz.... Whatever, Og. I mean, I'm sure it's real challenging and all, but you don't need to use up our valuable time discussing every little detail. Just do what you need to do, and let us know when you have some product ready to roll. Hmmmm... ready to roll... I like that! I'm going to use that! "The wheel. It's ready to roll." Man, I don't know how I come up with this stuff - it's a gift! I guess that's why I live in the big cave. I gotta break for lunch, Og-man. Talk at ya soon! ------------------------------------------ To: Marketing From: Og Subject: Hello? Anybody there? Guys? I haven't heard from you in a while. I've been very busy, and have now produced a full set of Wheels in a variety of colors. So, I guess you could say we're "ready to roll"... ------------------------------------------ To: Og From: Marketing Subject: update Listen, Ogster - there's been a change of plan. It seems that Norg has developed a system where you lay down some logs, and sort of scoot the heavy objects over them. Not as slick as your "wheel" thing, but we're looking at a much lower production cost. So we're getting behind Norg on this. But we'll keep you in mind, we promise. No hard feelings, right, Oggie? ------------------------------------------ To: Marketing From: Og Subject: LOGS?!?!?!?!?!? Logs?! "Scooting" over logs?!? How on earth could you consider that a better solution than my Wheel? The Wheel is MUCH more efficient, and a far more elegant method of transportation! I don't know how Norg talked you into this, but you're making a big mistake! And what about colors? Logs don't come in different colors! ------------------------------------------ To: Og From: Marketing Subject: my bad Calm down there, big guy. I understand your disappointment, but hey, sometimes we're faced with hard choices. It really comes down to cost - we can do the log thing much cheaper. Oh, and about the whole "color" thing - after bouncing the idea around, we kept getting feedback that the colors made the "wheel" look like some kind of toy, which our target consumers weren't able to take seriously. My bad. Turns out that the logs have an "organic" vibe that people are really going for. Who knew? ------------------------------------------ To: Marketing From: Og Subject: What about the Wheel? What am I supposed to do with all these Wheels? I've got Wheels in every conceivable color filling up my cave, and my wife is threatening to leave me if I don't clear them out of here! I mean, I guess I could try to wash the dye off, so that they have that "organic" look you talked about... ------------------------------------------ To: Og From: Marketing Subject: Different sizes? Stop the presses, Og-O-Rama! It looks like Norg's log thing isn't exactly setting the world on fire (unlike Grak's invention, get it?), so Marketing is interested in taking another look at your invention. But we're concerned that this "wheel" thingie might be too big for some women and children. Do you have any different sizes? ------------------------------------------ To: Marketing From: Og Subject: Sizes This wasn't easy (and I know you don't want me to bore you with details), but I've managed to carve some of these now-uncolored Wheels that have been crowding my cave into three different sizes: small, medium, and large. I've dropped samples of each by your cave - please give them a test roll and see what you think. I hope that we'll be able to make something happen with the Wheel soon - I've been spending so much time on this that I haven't been able to do much hunting, and supplies are starting to run a little low in my cave. ------------------------------------------ To: Og From: Marketing Subject: Almost "ready to roll" Looking good, Oggerino! I think we're just about ready to start a major marketing effort to spread the word about the new EZ Roll (our new name for your "wheel" - what do you think?). We've got Legal researching the name, and the top cave painting guy in the village is working on a logo. There was some debate about whether to spell out the word "Easy," but we decided it was punchier to go with the whole "EZ" vibe, which we think could create a level of name/logo recognition that could lead to a whole "EZ" product line (as long as guys like you keep cranking out these great gizmos)! The sky's the limit, Ogsy, and your EZ Roll (well, technically it will be our EZ Roll once you sign the necessary papers - a formality, really) is just the beginning of an incredible future! ------------------------------------------ To: Marketing From: Og Subject: Excited but a little concerned Guys - I'm pleased that we're finally moving forward, but must admit I'm a little concerned. I kind of feel like this project is spinning out of control on me. (Spinning - jeez, now it looks like you've got ME thinking in slogans!) I was a little put off by the name change, but I guess you Marketing guys know best. And about it being "our" EZ Roll - the word "our" does include me, doesn't it? Just making sure... ------------------------------------------ To: Marketing From: Og Subject: Relax! Chill out, Oggy-Woggy! It's all being handled, and of course the term "our" includes you. You're the zany inventor type who supplied the raw material for our creation. And we won't forget that - we are a team after all! But I think that you'll have to agree that without the strength of our organization, your wheelie-thingie (or whatever you used to call it) would never have seen the light of day. But that's a non-issue - we're ready to move on the EZ Roll, and will just need your signature on a couple of forms that those worry-warts down in Legal are always making us sign. (Again, just a technicality. I mean, who actually reads those things?) ------------------------------------------ To: Marketing From: Og Subject: It's official Ok guys, I signed all the forms your Legal people brought me. Boy, there were a LOT of them - I finally gave up trying to read all the fine print. So, what's the next step? Is this where I sit back and let the fame and riches roll in? ("Roll in” - get it?) ------------------------------------------ To: Og From: Marketing Subject: Team spirit "Roll in" - good one, Og-boy! Now you're getting into the spirit of this team! Oh, by the way - if we need you to, you wouldn't have a problem with making a couple last-minute changes in the product design, would you? Probably won't even happen. And if it does, it will be nothing major. But you know how these projects are; always changing. We just want to make sure we put our best foot forward when we unveil the EZ Roll. (Hmmm - that best foot forward thing doesn't really work, does it? Note to self: Foot metaphors don't work with the EZ Roll...) ------------------------------------------ To: Marketing From: Og Subject: More changes? I assume you're talking about very MINOR changes, right? I mean, we're getting down to the last minute here, and I've put a LOT of work into this, at considerable expense in terms of time, finances, and marital stability. Speaking of the foot metaphor, maybe you could say something like "The EZ Roll makes feet ... obsolete!" What do you think? It even rhymes! ------------------------------------------ To: Og From: Marketing Subject: another teensy weensy suggestion You should probably leave the slogan-writing to us, Oggo. We're professionals. But it was a cute little attempt, and shows that you're starting to get the Big Picture. Good for you. Now we just have one more idea we'd like throw out on the table, so to speak. Remember how the first time we saw your invention, we thought it was some kind of coffee table? And you know how these things tend to take up a lot of space? Well - we were thinking - what if the EZ Roll could double as a coffee table? You know, when you're not using it to roll stuff around, it makes a great place to set your food, drinks, and maybe even your decorative knick-knacks. We figure this shouldn't require any major adjustments, just some kind of thingie that converts the stick in the center into a base for a table. I mean, you're the inventor guy - how hard can that be? Of course, now that it's going to serve as furniture, the subject of appearances raises its head once more. So you'll probably want to look into that whole color thing again. We're shooting for a deadline of this coming Wednesday. That shouldn't be a problem for a team player like yourself, should it, Oggala? ------------------------------------------ To: Marketing From: Kulu (Og's wife) Subject: Concern Have any of you seen or heard from my husband Og? I know that you have been working with him to promote his invention (which he's hinted that he plans to call the Kulu Wheel - what a sweet man!), so I thought maybe you might know where he is. For some unknown reason he ran screaming out of the cave yesterday, after reading some message he got. I haven't seen him since.